Today would be my Mom’s birthday, and it’s the first one since she left us. I know that I should have some relatable message to post, but to be honest I still can’t get my head around her loss. The world hasn’t felt right since she passed, and it seems like my sense of equilibrium left with her. Does this make sense?
Mom always had regrets for how she raised Melissa and me. She said she should have gotten me braces, and she should have taken us to church more, and that she should have put me in a school for gifted kids. I would assure her that everything turned out fine, and it’s all exactly as it was supposed to be. I for one had no problem with how she raised us. She was a young woman on her own, doing the best she knew how, dealing with her own issues, and still everything worked out.
I still feel that way. I have no regrets for how Mom raised us, and I have lots of good memories of my childhood with her. She made a big effort to expose us to new ideas, plays, musicals, art, books, and experiences. She fed our natural curiosity. In fact, I see now that she was very curious herself, and she always welcomed learning.
I don’t know how else to say–I was lucky she was my Mom, super lucky. She didn’t put me down, or belittle my interests, and she let me explore who I was. For mom-craft, she gets and A+.
I can’t call her and tell her that. She knew, because I told her often. As a family, none of us are shy about sharing our feelings, and I’m glad I shared mine. Happy Birthday, Mom.